Straight to the point: I’m a woman who is romantically and sexually attracted to more than one gender, as well as to those who identify with no gender at all. Some people thinks this makes me slutty and other people refuse to believe I actually exist because my sexuality apparently is a label for the confused, curious, and attention seekers. None of this is true. I’m not claiming the label bisexual because I’m confused about who I am and I’m not ‘curious” about being in a sexual and/or romantic relationship with people besides straight or bisexual men, I’m interested because my attraction isn’t limited to only one gender. Gender, unlike most things in my life is something that I’m just not picky about. Though I will point out there is nothing wrong with being unsure of who you’re attracted to, and neither is curiosity in itself. What is wrong however, is the blanket assumption that anyone who identifies as bisexual is merely confused or curious. As for the claim that I’m only seeking attention? I think those people are scared I’ll steal their significant other. This leads me back to the first assumption: bisexuals are slutty. First of all, slut is not a pretty word to use to describe other people. Second of all, safe and consensual sex isn’t something that someone should be shamed for or be ashamed of. That aside, one’s sexuality has nothing to do with the amount of sex they are or are not having. That’s in the same realm of ridiculousness as ‘blondes have more fun.’ And in case that needs clarification, it’s a silly generalization.
Bisexuality is constantly being deemed as invalid and if I’m being honest, I used to be be someone who invalidated it. And although I’m not going to go into my own story, I do want to say that accepting my sexuality was the most difficult and freeing thing I have done for myself. The sole reason I rejected bisexuality and deemed it as so many tend to do as, “impossible” is because for the longest time myths like the ones I mentioned above were the only exposure I had of it. If I hadn’t been exposed to these harmful preconceptions of bisexuality earlier on, I would have probaly come to terms with my identity at a much younger age. Because of this, I missed out on loving myself at a much earlier time that what I could have and this deeply saddens me. It’s painful being told by so much of the world that I don’t exist or that my identity is not worthy of representation, and this is despite having come to terms with my sexuality. This is part of the reason why I wrote this post, it’s what fifteen year old me needed to hear. It’s sort of my way of making amends with my bi-phobic younger self, as well as me trying to end the harmful stereotyping of bisexuals.
I’m going to end here by echoing what I’ve been trying to convey this entire time: bisexuality is valid. The world may drag its feet at the so-called novelty of being attracted to more than one gender, but that doesn’t make bisexuality any less legitimate. Most importantly, it doesn’t make your bisexuality any less legitimate. To elaborate, an identity is not a way of restricting yourself- you define the label, not the other way around. So when I say ‘all bisexuals are valid’ I mean, all bisexuals are valid. No exceptions.
(All images from giphy.com)